A common theme I see in the various "Men's" groups is the desire for more intimacy between men. No, I don't mean of the sexual nature, though I'm sure there is some desire for that too. What I'm talking about it the need for closeness and bonding that seems all but forgotten in today's world. It's as if each man is an island, cut off from the others. While we have the ubiquitous internet socialization, we seem to be cut off from having real physical contact.

Now I don't know about you, but I'm one of those guys that feel like they're missing true male intimacy. I have friendships, don't get me wrong. But there seems to be something missing, the lack of really connecting with another guy on a deeper level. The ability to share hopes and dreams along with our insecurities without feeling judged, and without the other guy pulling away. To be able to hug or cry on another's shoulder without being thought of as being less of a man for doing so.

I'm not sure what's driving our needs. Maybe it's a lack of male bonding early in life. (I know in my case my father worked two jobs trying to provide the best for his family, but in the process was absent for much of my early years.) Maybe it's from not having any male companions during childhood. (In my case, I lived in an older neighborhood where there weren't any children my age.) Or maybe it's caused by something else. Whatever the case, it seems to be leaving a big hole in our souls.

There is one other thing that can enter into this whole equation, and that's being SGA (same gender attracted). I don't know how many of the others who have expressed the desire for male bonding are SGA, but it is the case for me. The quandary is how much of the desire for closeness is due to SGA, and how much is not. Are they two separate things, or are they two sides of the same coin? Is some of my SGA due to the lack of bonding or is my lack of bonding due to my SGA? I wish I had the answer.

But whatever the cause, whatever the reason, I feel like I'm missing out.

I just wish I could fix it...