My heat hurts really bad...My boyfriend (of nearly 4 years)and I just broke it off a few days ago. It was my doing so I'm not sure why it hurts so bad. If this is what I want dont you think I would have some kind of peace about it? I dont know I'm just really confused. I've done so many things that have hurt out relationship and him that this is just one more thing that makes me feel horrible. But I'm 20 and it's time to grow up right? I mean, I just feel that there are a few things about him and our relationship that were holding me back from the things I want out of life. I have put him and our relationship infront of my "happiness" and success for way too long. I know God will provide for the both of us I just really wish that God will put someone in his life soon that will be the "right" one for him because I'm pretty sure that I'm not. I know in my heart and I've known for a while that he's just not the right one for me...not now anyway. And if he's not the right one for me, well then I'm not the right one for him. Nonetheless, my heart is broken and it probably will be for a long time. But I have to stay focused on me and what I want, no more being a people pleaser...no more allowing myself to put others first...it's selfish but in order for me to do what I want I know this is what I have to do. I just really want someone with an unbias oppinion to talk to. Family just doesn't cut it.